Child of unmarried parents

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rpyne
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Child of unmarried parents

Postby rpyne » Thu Jul 30, 2009 3:27 pm

I have been presented with an interesting situation. On Sunday, we will be blessing the child of two cohabiting unmarried members who recently moved into our ward boundaries.

The information we have been give is that they plan on getting married in October.

So, my dilemma is, how should I group them as a household? Should I keep the parents as separate households until their marriage, if so, which household should include the child? Or should I go ahead and group them all together as one household.

Now, to complicate matters, the father never knew his biological father until about two years ago and is now very involved with him and plans on changing his surname from his mother's maiden name to that of his biological father when he gets married. As part of this, they are giving the baby the surname of the father's biological father. So we have three people living in one home all with different surnames but desiring to be considered as one family.

bcpalmer60
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They aren't married yet

Postby bcpalmer60 » Thu Jul 30, 2009 3:59 pm

Since they aren't married yet, they are still two separate households, just happen to be at the same address. The child's head of household should be the mother.
Brian C. Palmer
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aebrown
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Postby aebrown » Thu Jul 30, 2009 4:07 pm

rpyne wrote:So, my dilemma is, how should I group them as a household? Should I keep the parents as separate households until their marriage, if so, which household should include the child? Or should I go ahead and group them all together as one household.


There is nothing I can see documented anywhere that specifically defines "household." MLS won't let you add someone as a spouse to a household unless they are actually a spouse, but you can add unrelated people to a household as "other". It is certainly possible to group them all as one household. That seems simplest, but I could understand that there might be concerns about whether that implies any endorsement of the current living arrangements.

A clerk shouldn't have to decide this -- fundamentally it is the bishop's call. The bishop should probably consider how this group of people should be home taught, and how they should be listed on various reports that are grouped by household.

russellhltn
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Postby russellhltn » Thu Jul 30, 2009 5:32 pm

rpyne wrote:So, my dilemma is, how should I group them as a household?


Like Alan, I'm not aware of any policies that would affect the grouping of households. If I were to attempt to find something that fits this situation, I think I'd find it under "Disciplinary Councils". :rolleyes: But that's something for the Bishop and Stake President to deal with.

rpyne wrote:Now, to complicate matters, the father never knew his biological father until about two years ago and is now very involved with him and plans on changing his surname from his mother's maiden name to that of his biological father when he gets married. As part of this, they are giving the baby the surname of the father's biological father. So we have three people living in one home all with different surnames but desiring to be considered as one family.


I believe the policy is to record the member's legal name. MLS is fine with what you have described. However, in some places (like LUWS) the household will be listed under the father's surname. The print-outs may not be what people want, but I don't know as you have many options here.
Have you searched the Wiki?
Try using a Google search by adding "site:tech.lds.org/wiki" to the search criteria.

jdlessley
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Postby jdlessley » Thu Jul 30, 2009 8:23 pm

It looks like the issue will only exist for two months. Whatever the bishop decides you will be making a change in October after the marriage anyway.
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Have you tried finding your answer on the LDS.org Help Center page or the LDSTech wiki?

EDDIEDOW
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Postby EDDIEDOW » Tue Sep 08, 2009 8:24 pm

Bearing in mind that Church records are supposed to reflect legal relationships, I'd go with bcpalmer's recommendation.
You can list them all in one household, just show the mother as head of house, the child as hers, and them male as "other" until they are legally married. After the wedding, change the record to show the current legal status. Your state may or may not allow the biological father to be the legal father merely upon marrying the mother, adoption might be necessary.

russellhltn
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Postby russellhltn » Tue Sep 08, 2009 8:35 pm

E&LDow wrote:You can list them all in one household, just show the mother as head of house, the child as hers, and them male as "other" until they are legally married.


Um, which if I understand correctly, would cause his name to appear the same as if he was her child. I don't think that's desirable.
Have you searched the Wiki?

Try using a Google search by adding "site:tech.lds.org/wiki" to the search criteria.

EDDIEDOW
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Postby EDDIEDOW » Tue Sep 08, 2009 9:14 pm

RussellHltn wrote:Um, which if I understand correctly, would cause his name to appear the same as if he was her child. I don't think that's desirable.

No, the members of household has different listings for "child", "spouse" and "other". As they are not married, the male would be an "other" until they are married. Then he would become the head of household and she would be shown as "spouse".
"Other" is also used when another relative, say brother or cousin, is living in the household and not head of his own household, for whatever reason.
For that matter, the male could be listed as head of household, by himself, and the mother as head of her own household. Makes no difference that they are at the same address.

jbh001
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Postby jbh001 » Wed Sep 09, 2009 7:14 am

E&LDow wrote:No, the members of household has different listings for "child", "spouse" and "other".
I have not noticed this before within MLS. I have only seen 3 designations: if your are not the "head of household" or the "spouse," MLS designates you as "other." I don't recall seeing a "child" designation.

Additionally, I haven't found a direct way to manipulate these designations. Apparently others haven't either, which accounts for the various threads in the forums about how to "fix" these designations when they happen to be incorrect.

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aebrown
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Postby aebrown » Wed Sep 09, 2009 7:37 am

jbh001 wrote:I have not noticed this before within MLS. I have only seen 3 designations: if your are not the "head of household" or the "spouse," MLS designates you as "other." I don't recall seeing a "child" designation.


There most definitely is a "child" designation -- that tends to be one of the most common designations. If you add a child to the parents, on the Children tab of either of the parents' individual records, the person added will be a "Child" in the household. Or if you add a child through New Child of Record, the designation will also be "Child".

But if on the household record you choose "Add Member", the person added will be "Other". See the screen below for an example from the MLS test data; I gratuitously added Debra Ann Mary to the Ayala household this way, and so she is listed as Other.
Household.JPG
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