member won't give address

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surf40
New Member
Posts: 31
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2011 4:29 pm

member won't give address

Postby surf40 » Sun Sep 23, 2012 3:29 pm

Two questions:

1. the two minor children from a divorced man in our ward, who previously lived with him, have gone to live with their non-member mother in another town. The man in our ward said that his ex-wife, who is not a member, does not want her address given to the church, so he is abiding by those wishes, and will not give us the address. Do we A: keep the children"s records in our ward even though they live in another Stake? B: Send them both to membership unknown.

2. A sister in the ward recently moved. She contacted the bishop and said she wanted no further visits from the church. She gave the bishop a P.O. box number, and said she could be reached there. There are wards in our city, and she could be in any of them do we: A send her records to the ward where the P.O. box is. B: Send them to address unknown.

Thanks,

Danny

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aebrown
Community Administrator
Posts: 14693
Joined: Tue Nov 27, 2007 8:48 pm
Location: Sandy, Utah

Postby aebrown » Sun Sep 23, 2012 6:45 pm

Here are my opinions:

surf40 wrote:1. the two minor children from a divorced man in our ward, who previously lived with him, have gone to live with their non-member mother in another town. The man in our ward said that his ex-wife, who is not a member, does not want her address given to the church, so he is abiding by those wishes, and will not give us the address. Do we A: keep the children"s records in our ward even though they live in another Stake? B: Send them both to membership unknown.


When you start to move a record to the "Address Unknown" file, you are asked if you've done several specific things to try to locate the member before making that move. You only mentioned one of those options. If you've made an honest effort on the required steps, then you move the records to "Address Unknown"; it's tough to imagine a good reason for keeping records in your ward for people who are not in your ward. Once you've done all you can, the folks who process records in "Address Unknown" will use their skills and resources to try to locate the members.

surf40 wrote:2. A sister in the ward recently moved. She contacted the bishop and said she wanted no further visits from the church. She gave the bishop a P.O. box number, and said she could be reached there. There are wards in our city, and she could be in any of them do we: A send her records to the ward where the P.O. box is. B: Send them to address unknown.


It sounds like your ward has at least some relationship with this sister, so you are in the best position to follow up. Since you don't know where she moved to, it's possible she's still in your ward boundaries. In any case, it's tricky to establish much of a relationship with someone only by letter, but I wouldn't rule it out. So I'd try that first. I'd certainly take direction from your bishop. In conjunction with the ward council, he may be inspired to suggest an approach for fellowshipping. Or he may suggest that a letter be written to her asking her if she'd like her name removed from Church records. It's his call at this point.

In any case, the previous comment about trying other resources to find where she is would apply. If you can locate her, send the records to the appropriate ward. If not, follow the bishop's direction, which might include sending her record to "Address Unknown."
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Gary_Miller
Senior Member
Posts: 1219
Joined: Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:42 am
Location: Emmett, Idaho

Postby Gary_Miller » Sun Sep 23, 2012 8:16 pm

surf40 wrote:Two questions:

1. the two minor children from a divorced man in our ward, who previously lived with him, have gone to live with their non-member mother in another town. The man in our ward said that his ex-wife, who is not a member, does not want her address given to the church, so he is abiding by those wishes, and will not give us the address. Do we A: keep the children"s records in our ward even though they live in another Stake? B: Send them both to membership unknown.


Are these children Baptized? I think that would be important in figuring how to handle this situation. If they are not Baptized then it may not matter where the records are, as its not likely they will be baptized unless the mother has a change in heart. In that case I would just leave the records in the fathers ward.

If they are Baptized I think it would be in order for the Bishop to speak to the man and see if he can convince him of the importance of having his children's record in the correct ward. Then the Bishop can call the new Bishop and explain to him the situation so they don't get the ex-wife upset by contacting the children. At least that way the new ward can keep an eye on the situation with the children if only from the distance, and the Youth can be friend the at school. Who knows the children may just live next door to a nice family in the ward. And even if they do make contact what can the ex-wife do, but get up set with the man, if the divorce was done properly then his rights are all protected by the divorce decree.

I don't think sending the records to the "Location Unknown" file is even a good option, as the first thing they will do is contact the father for the address.


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