Married but kept Maiden Name

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lilimarlene
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Married but kept Maiden Name

Postby lilimarlene » Sat May 18, 2013 8:56 am

I am married, but I kept my maiden name. Consequently, I do not show up on the ward directory. My husband shows up as a single man and I am not listed. The person in the ward in charge of the directory has not been able to resolve the issue. How can this be resolved? I do not EVER want to use my husband's last name. Thank you.

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aebrown
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Re: Married but kept Maiden Name

Postby aebrown » Sat May 18, 2013 9:39 am

lilimarlene wrote:I am married, but I kept my maiden name. Consequently, I do not show up on the ward directory. My husband shows up as a single man and I am not listed. The person in the ward in charge of the directory has not been able to resolve the issue. How can this be resolved?

You didn't mention the calling of the person "in charge of the directory," but this has to be resolved by a clerk. There's no good reason why you should not appear on the ward directory just because you kept your maiden name. You're certainly not the only household in the Church with that situation -- we have a couple like that in our ward, and the wife appears on the Directory on LDS.org.

This is discussed in some detail in this post, but the basic points your ward clerk needs to make sure of are these:
  1. You and your husband are listed in MLS as being married to each other.
  2. You are in a single household. The way that membership records work now, that household will be the last name of the husband.
  3. Your full name and preferred name both use your legal last name (your maiden name) as your last name.
If your clerk does that, you'll appear on the ward directory. If your husband is John Smith and you are Mary Jones, then you will both appear in the Smith household. In the list of households, you will appear as "Smith, John and Mary". In your household, he will appear as "Smith, John" and you will appear as "Jones, Mary."

Personally, I think the list of households should list you as "Smith, John and Jones, Mary", but that's not the way it works right now. But at least you will appear. The other unfortunate limitation is that the search won't find "Jones" at all.

The other alternative is for the clerk to put you in separate households. That would insure that your household includes your last name, and so of course the search in the directory will work properly. But it will create issues for things such as home teaching (the system will think you need separate home teachers).

russellhltn
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Re: Married but kept Maiden Name

Postby russellhltn » Sat May 18, 2013 1:14 pm

aebrown wrote:You are in a single household. The way that membership records work now, that household will be the last name of the husband.

Just to be clear, what aebrown is saying here is that the two of you should be in a one household. NOT that you should be in a household by yourself.


aebrown wrote:The other alternative is for the clerk to put you in separate households. That would insure that your household includes your last name, and so of course the search in the directory will work properly. But it will create issues for things such as home teaching (the system will think you need separate home teachers).

It will also make the two of you appear to be single, which from your first post appears to be a concern.

To add to what aebrown has said, we're assuming that your membership records are in the ward. If not, then the clerk needs to request them. We're also assuming that you are a member. If not, then this needs to be handled in a different way, but you can still appear in the household.
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